Holidays and Romance Community
The Magic of Being Brought Together
Holidays. I’ll admit, my feelings towards them leans more Scrooge and Grinch than Tiny Tim and Cindy Lou Who.
I don’t hate holidays, but in the lead up to them I tend to focus on the list of to dos that stress me out and forget the reasons why they can be magical.
I tend to associate a “holiday” most with an annual event that is celebrated by a community of people all at once, but it’s really any celebratory event that disrupts the daily grind.
The last few months have reminded me that holidays make us pause, lift our heads up out of the muck of day-to-day, and come together.
Here are some recent romance community examples.
Practical Magic with Alice Hoffman & Lovestruck Books
On October 29th, I was honored to moderate a conversation with the brilliant novelist Alice Hoffman prior to a screening of Practical Magic, which is based on her novel of the same name.
Practical Magic has become a bit of a rom-com cult hit, especially around Halloween. The movie’s vibes conjure crisp autumn leaves, moody candle-lit rooms, and an unmistakeable New England aesthetic. The book the movie is based on has similar witchy vibes, and while it’s not a romance novel, it explores love and romance and ends happily.
There really is something magical about an event like this: people got dressed up and were ready to have a great time and nerd out over their love of Alice Hoffman’s work and a mutual love of a good story. The energy of the sold out crowd in Brattle Theatre’s cozy space was thrumming.
Here’s a short video my husband shot during the Q&A. We were talking about the memorable last lines of the movie and the book and Alice shared a hilarious behind the scenes story about how her first editor wanted to cut the lines!
The event was hosted by Lovestruck Books, a new bookstore that’s opening in Harvard Square (Cambridge, Massachusetts). Local romance bookstores seem to be popping up all over, and I’m thrilled that the greater Boston area1 will have a dedicated space where we can find community with one another.
I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a part of this event.
When in Dallas…
As an introvert, I am perfectly happy staying home. It’s where my family and books are, and it’s mine. I work from home, too, but my job also entails a decent amount of travel.
In November, I had reason to travel to Dallas for work and so of course I used the opportunity to connect with a romance community friend whom I’ve spoken with for hours but never actually met: Hannah Hearts Romance!
Hannah joined me for two full-length episodes over the years, discussing The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham (gushing!) and The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen Woodiwiss (less than gushing!).
As I headed out to meet a stranger from the internet, I told my colleagues that if I never returned, they should talk to Hannah Hearts Romance on Instagram…
This got some laughs and I think my colleagues were actually a bit concerned that I was meeting someone I knew from the internet, but my strongest friend connections are with people I met in the online romance community. (For example, Dame Jodie Slaughter is my literal best friend.)
Hannah and I met up for authentic Tex-Mex cuisine and it was like sitting down with an old friend because that’s exactly what it was!
When I’m at home, it’s easier to stay in than make plans with my friends. “What may be done at any time will be done at no time.” Travel, even when it’s not quite a holiday, prompts me to be more active in making plans with friends and taking advantage of perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet in person someone I love speaking with virtually.
Romancelandia Holiday Fairies
As we come to the end of 2024, “holidays” tend to be top of mind for many of us. There’s the sense that we’re closing out one year, cramming in as much time with family and friends as possible, and also trying to recharge and reset before the coming new year.
It’s also a time to strengthen the romance community.
For the 5th year, I’m hosting “Romancelandia Holiday Fairies” — a mutual aid effort for the "Romancelandia" romance novel reader community to support anyone in the community who could use help with purchasing gifts for themselves or loved ones this holiday season.
Since 2020, the romance community has supported hundreds of wishlists and purchased thousands of gifts, making a real difference in the lives of families around the world.
Here’s how it works: Anyone who needs help this holiday season submits an Amazon wishlist and then holiday fairies browse available wishlists and send gifts directly to recipients.
There are 36 wishlists available right now and this weekend is a great time to take action if you’re in a position to be a Holiday Fairy.
Organizing this event is an annual reminder to me that nothing feels better than helping someone when I’m able to.
It’s also a reminder that being able to ask for help and receive it is what makes a community stronger. We live in a society that makes us feel shame for needing help and seeks to make interpersonal relationships transactional. Communities make us stronger, and therefore a threat to systems of oppression.
I’ve written before about how romance novels help us access hope and emotional experiences.
While we’re a “romance community” because of our shared love for romance novels, the way the romance community shows care reminds me that the real power of romance novels is about bringing what we learn about relationships and emotions into the real world.
In Honor of Melinda
2024 Holiday Fairies is dedicated to the memory of Melinda Utendorf. Melinda was a beloved member of the romance reader community, and a supporter of holiday fairies.
In her last year, when she needed the support, she was a wishlist recipient herself. On January 1st, 2024, Melinda sent me this email.
Hi, Andrea,
I just wanted to reach out now that the holidays are over and let you know how amazing the Romancelandia wishlist made mine. I signed up when I was in the hospital and my stay kept getting extended.
And when I was released, I came home to a few items for my wishlist and it was exactly what I needed. The coloring books and puzzles I received have been sanity saving for me in the last few weeks. Truly my mental health was so much improved by all of this. I can't even express it properly.
So, thank you. And thanks to anyone who's involved.
Melinda.
Melinda passed away on January 10th, 2024. She was 41 years old.
Whether you knew Melinda or not, I think the message that she shared exemplifies the power of us coming together as a romance community.
If you're in a position to be a holiday fairy this season, I hope that you'll take it as an opportunity to help others.
The best time to help out with Holiday Fairies is before December 31st.
What I’ve Been Up To
Podcasting
I’m still podcasting about romance, although on my own sporadic schedule.
Recent episodes include Sampling Secrets of a Summer Night with The Historical Romance Sampler (hosted by author Katherine Grant) and Horror Romance and Land of the Beautiful Dead with my friend and new author Laura J. Mayo.
I’ve been splitting my romance discourse time between Substack and the podcast, and Substack has generally been winning out this year.
I have no resolutions to make major changes on that front, but I do think discussing books with others for the podcast fills my well in a valuable way that’s slightly different from what I enjoy about writing these Substack posts.
BlueSky
I’m on BlueSky! The romance community on here seems to be ramping up. Maybe I’ll see you there?
Bookshelves
During Thanksgiving break I started a massive DIY built-in-bookshelf project. (I’m mostly posting about this on Instagram stories.) It’s basically consumed my life because who knew that constructing and painting, like, 18 linear feet of shelves would be a big project?
My goal is to be able to have my entire romance collection in one place and I can’t wait! But I’m trying to be realistic that I took on a monster project and it’s going to take time. Patience, Andrea.
I’m tearing through romance audiobooks. So far, did my annual re-read of Alice Coldbreath via audiobook, plus Heather Guerre’s new audiobook releases of Cold Hearted and Hot Blooded, and now I’m onto What I Did for a Duke by Julie Ann Long.
I’ve read and loved all of these books before, so they’re perfect project comfort listens!
I hope you're all having a great December and that you have plans to spend time with your loved ones, your found family, and an amazing romance novel.
Read my Lips is another Boston-area romance bookstore that does pop-up events.